Half♥

Love of my life.
She is beautiful. If only you can see it thru my eyes. Nobody is perfect, but you are close, or if you want, balanced.
You said you had horrible character. I respectfully disagree. You are a wonderful person with a heart of gold. Even if it don't really please me but its amazing how you are able to forgive those that did you wrong. This covers your quick temper. You are respectful to your elders even if you may not agree with them. You are caring to your friends and loving to your prince. You deserve to be loved. One day you will realise how wonderful you really are.

History
We were talking about our history the other day. Haha all the funny memories and stupid things we did.
As much as I wished I'm different I'm not. Human nature forces us to process the looks before everything else. That night when I first set eyes on you I can only complain in my head how R always knows all the good looking girls.
Throughout the trip I can only try and digest how cute you are *shy*. But you weren't playing with me so I'm just floating around haha. 
I actually can't remember how I got you on Facebook but I did remember talking to you about your crush on Him. It was so funny you never seen him on that trip.
The most amazing day in my life so far. Getting you. The way I'm so lost about everything haha the only action I can think of was to change your name in my phone. It was so surprising when you say nobody did that before.

I will always remember that.

As unbelievable as it seems. It made me want to do my best to love you and protect you. But I was so young. My actions I regret. But what is the use? What's done is done. What I can do now is to fully spend my time loving her. She shall always be the most important thing to me next to family. But the need to study hard and score well... its not going to be easy but I know its gonna be worth it.

The Internship

So caught a movie The Internship a few days ago with a bunch of people. Who I went with not that important, why I went can be ignored, but that movie... to me its amazing.
So. What the movie is on first sight: Two guys, salesman top of their field is fired due to improving technological advancement. Now they found a way to have a steady job with is to complete an internship at Google and be full time workers there.

Some spoliers may be included turn back before its too late!

What I saw. A lot of myself? In a way. We see this two friends taken away from a world they are used to and grouped together with a bunch of misfits. I band tgt with people of a lower social status more cause they don't have to impress others, they don't have to stress about their dressing and they won't forget a friend. So the main character Billy(Vince Vaughn) and Nick(Owen Wilson) are two very lost souls trapped with IT geniuses in a group of 5. Their chance of success is very little and they try to get by with their social skills as salesman. They have the social skills while the rest have the brains. The friendship/ brother bond Billy(Vince Vaughn) and Nick(Owen Wilson) have is fucking amazing. You see the both of them sticking it out tgt, covering each other's backs and diving into shit tgt. Putting absolute trust and faith to beileve that the other know what he is doing. I really respect that, you can't really see this kind of bond now a days and if you're gonna call me a fag for wanting smth like this then I feel sad for you. This is real brotherhood. This is a real friend you can rely on if you're ever in trouble. Its smth like love but you don't expect shit from each other. Even in rs you do it cause of love but this you do cause he is a bro. This was a bomb.

Next scene is one in a club. Strip club. I don't know why but they learn things here. I don't really like it but its America they are more free and it balance the geek with a bit of social life. So in a way its fine. My friends said I look damn into this scene. Yea. I was. Its was a fucking long time since I heard club music. A long long time ago I wish to forget. This scene brought back too many shit I wanna forget. Few years back me and my so called friends went and sneaked in and we had fun. Until we realised one was missing and later realised she was spiked and raped. It was one of the worst moment in life. I never got in trouble with the police and I dunno if they covered me but the tongue lashing the father gave and the heart wrenching cries the mom delivered will forever be heard in my nightmares. Yea it was a older girl and one I didn't really know but I feel guilty. I could have done smth. Get less drunk? Look after the drinks? Head count? I dunno but I felt like I could have done smth, anything to stop it but I didn't. I watch on. I wanted to run to hide somewhere never to be found but that's a long time ago. Two bombs in a movie this is surely worth watching thru the end.

The last scene that delivered a bomb. It was when Billy(Vince Vaughn) met his rival in the google internship exam/challenges. They met and his rival remind him of one crucial fact. He fuckes everything up just as it became perfect. Billy got very affect and started breaking and getting nervous. He managed to get good practice for the upcoming exam/challenge and was smooth throughout the thing. But the curse hits home. He forgot to log into the site. His attempt was void. He fucked his team's chance to win the internship. He was defeated. He went to apologize to the team while they where talking about how its his fault but they never really did blame him. He only heard the bad part and he left. He knew he dragged his team down. He was a sinking ship. But he tried. He really did. He stayed up all night just to practice for the test. He aced it. Something he tried really hard to do and foiled by a fucking button. It was devastating.
At this point I see the look on his face and remembered, I remember this look all too well. The people I've let down. Their disappointed faces. My own emotions. I try hard too but something always happens. Its only when I want to put my heart and soul into thing that they turn back and bite me. I want a second chance and they deny me. Every time. Ever felt your heart breaking? You felt something crack and snap inside you. You feel smth shatter. You open your mouth to scream but nth comes out. You feel pain but you don't feel pain. It gets weird and you suddenly stop working.
I've learn to deal with it. Some times people shout at me. "How can you be so calm when you fucked smth up so bad. How do you come smiling and happy?" What can I say. What do you want me to do? I may have ideas to fixed it but you wont let me. You want me fixing by your rules. I'm the guy that fucking broke it how the fuck do you think you can piece back everything yourself. You know why I smile. Cause this society fucking judge too much. I come in sad and apologetic you gonna say I'm looking for pity. That its not gonna work. That I'm shedding crocodile tears and I'm a fag. Believe me, I've tried being apologetic. Didn't fucking work. End up getting more shit then I would have.

You know why people die? You know why they kill themselves? Cause they know they fuck up bad. And the worst part? Some times its not even their fucking fault. They never get a chance to fix what they broke they have to live a life knowing that something was broken and they couldn't even get a chance to fix it. They die cause they hope that by doing that every thing they ever done is fixed. Everything they will fuck up wont fuck up and everybody will be happy. Sad right.

I can't play by that rule. At the last moment I see. I help them before its too late. I give them all the chance they may never get to have from others. In return I have to fuck up. My whole life I have to. And at last when God feels that I've saved enf or done enf. He will sent me somebody. Somebody that will give me that chance nobody else would.
I really hope its her...

"US"
They call me dumb
They call me stupid
They look at me weird
They think I've lost it
But who will ever know what I have felt
When in her arms the walls always held
They see the sadness and darkness that frown
But did they see the joys and me sleeping so sound

Trust? Courage? Love?

So following my rant I was reading up on war stories and stuff and glad to find myself a coward. Glad cause well heck Im bloody glad I don't have to go thru that but half the things they did would I do them? Could I actually jump on top of a grenade to save my team? Would I lead the charge and boost my teams moral? Dare I drop my weapon and fly the flag? I won't have the guts to do most things but that's me before. NCC improved a lot about myself. Being a team player is important and respecting each other is always the top of the list. I was in a group full of Malays and (I'm not being racist here everybody does this) they spoke in their own language which I'm fine with as long as somebody is willing to translate. In a way I could have asked them to speak in English but lets face it the respect is already lost. This is a important factor in a team and I learn the hard way how it feels like being ostracise. It may not be a huge issue in SG but other countries may not be as nonchalant.

Things I find in people I trust. Loyalty. I don't need a human dog but as long as you are loyal to the group its all good I don't need you to be a scape goat or cut off your hand but never bully your own friends never betray the group and never ever backstab your friends. Respect. I need you to respect all things woman and animals are two top for me. I have since dunno when stood up for the weak or those who are unable to defend themselves. I know how it feels like and the struggle they go through it feels only right that I take the heat off from them onto me. I have a strong support that they may not have. Never disrespect females(two timing beating etc) and don't you fucking dare hurt any animal.
Backbone/self awareness? Never ever steal your friend's girl/guy. Its fine when you care about him/her but when the problem starts coming and they start looking to you for everything always divert them back to their halfs. Nearly fell into this one. One day it just boom to me "wow you are better them my bf" I nearly fell off my chair.  I replied " No? whenever you complain I'll ask what's going on and shit cause I hardly talk to you solving/talking bout your problems keep our friendship close if you think I'm better just because of this then you need to reevaluate your meaning of love. If you say I care more then that's a lie. I just ask the right question at the right time. Always ask them to talk to their partner. Girls! sometimes the guy is just lost on what to say to calm you down, either 1 of you just say I'm sorry for shouting or whatever and talk about it calmly. Most of the time its just stress/small stupid things and those girls that need the bf 24/7 you really need a hobby that DOES NOT involve other guys.

Its not fair to kill it when he is slugging his guts off for your future and you go for the guy that satisfy your present. Learn to look into the future. Both of you dating with a normal job from 9-5? You only can meet for dinner? Unless you guys are staying tgt people go through that for 5/6 years of dating to see if they can handle everything and if you need him 24/7 you need to find a guy rich as fuck to run to you whenever you cry.

Finally consistency. I wont bet my life on you if you say you sing and then you stop doing it cause you hella ugly and then go train your body but got lazy and decide to rot and then suddenly go back to music. If you wanna pin me you wont get a chance. Music have been a part of me since I understand words. I may have stops here and there but the passion burns. I stand by my own music and even if I never really did release it its cause it wasn't perfect. I have not enf talent to fused the melody with accompany back track and my voice isn't out of this world so I cover others and hopefully grow my voice.

Just thoughts from my head

Late night thoughts

HELLO FELLOW BLOGGERS. Sorry guys been out sooooooo long just didn't have the time and energy to do this haha exam was close and I had stuff going on. Well at this current point in time I find myself alone. Again. Haha I guess it was bad at first and I was hateful? Everybody was under attack and it is at this point where everybody came back to me. All my sis and brothers. I was so happy. This means a lot cause it shows that what I've done actually made you guys remember me. Thanks to all who helped me along the way much loved♥.

So yea here I am. What's my next move? I really dunno. It is weird trying to get my life tgt again. I have realised that hey its sort of my problem much more then others and yea I should just think about stuff. Had a talk with my 大姐, she thinks I'm thinking too far-ish. Which I may be I dunno. Reason being this: I wanted have a good job in the future. Which means a good certificate and ITE cert can't get much unless you work hard so I wanted go poly but poly admission need 3.5 GPA to apply and I'm aiming 3.8 and above. Why? Cause I'm pining everything on the R/S and if I ever get married I really want my wife to be able to rest and home and grow our kids. I've seen too much bad parenting and child care are horrifying. I want to be able to get my kids anything they want. I want to be able to hold the family. But its just me. It made me work hard and I'm proud of my school work but I slowly forgot bout what I have now. The signs where all there but I was too busy planning and worrying bout the future to see the present. Could we work smth out? Yea for sure but I don't trust myself. Its either gonna be r/s heavy or study heavy and I will lose 1 again. NS would be another huge barrier and I really dunno what will happen then.

So they say focus on R/S treasure what you have if she love you she will go thru anything with you. I hate to say this but bullshit. Would you feel good if you can't earn enf and your wife HAVE to work? Who's gonna care for the kids? Who is gonna make the home warm and loving so your child's wants to go back home everyday and not hate this bed he is sleeping in. How would you feel when your child tells you bout the cool new stuff you can never affort to buy and your wife talking to her girlfriends all stay home and relaxed going for holidays or outing with their kids. If you are so into R/S in lets say sec school and you retain grades what's the use? After sec you straight go NS you think she will stay? They are more handsome and richer guys who are younger then you who can affort to buy her clothes and shoes and buy her flowers everyday. Heck those older kids can even get a car. What can you do? Us your heart? Yes you may love her to the sun and back but what of that guy does to? Its like having the same GPA and she is now looking at the CCA grade. Bitch you ain't got shit and when he is in NS he may alr have a year's job and waiting to start again after he comes out and you? You will have to continue studying or get a shitty job that you may not like and want.

Now you may ask do you believe in true love? Yes I do but I have to face reality too if I cant hold a family don't start 1. I will be a burden to everybody my kids will hate me and society will judge the family. Success stories? Yea you get your PHD from a ITE cert but how old are you alr? 30+? People got it at 20+ alr working and saving before you could even find a job. FT is fucking up the job system you stand a chance?
But all this its just me on my life. Its a lot to ask for and I'm asking a lot from myself. I hate being poor.
Reminds me of a question somebody asked me. Why are you single guys poor. Well we are saving. For our future girl, I dunno others but I save 100-200 dollars for the first 2/3 dates and if I get her the saving will keep going up. So we will always complain poor cause we are trying not to use our money. 100-200 easy save what. Yea but we have to update ourselves right who will date a hobo. But saying that I have been to very little places in SG haha shall try explore bah
On that epic note I think I'll end this post

RANT OVER~

Guy Facts Answered~

• I will only do a few which I find Important/I can relate to. 
• My Opinion doesn't mean YOU have to Like it
• If you are here thinking "What Crap Is He Gonna Shit Otta His Crack Pot Again?", YOU can suck that pineapple tree and stuff durians up Your Ass. Come Back When You Have A Open and Accepting Mind.

1.) Yup. Guys will always go for the good girls in the end. There is a saying in the hood, two type of girls out there. One you gonna fuck, One you rather marry. Sounds like something a asshole would say but same goes for the woman. The would always flirt with the bad boys and wanna bed them, not all people but mostly. There will always be that girl/guy everyone wants to bang but not bring home to show their parents, the ladies will always get the gentleman cause the are the trust-able ones.  Those who don't catch on fast enough gets a broken heart, or worst, a broken child.

3.) Not really true. Depends on person.
5.) Damn True. Can never stop getting tongue tied. Unless you are a natural talker, then you will talk too much.
6.) Link to (1)
7.) Same goes for girls. Its call love sick and can Cause Blindness to all the other person's bad actions.

8.),9.),10.) True, True, True X 1,000,000. All we want to see at the end of the day is your smile and hear your laughter. Now Guys and Jealous NEVER go together. Most of the time they wont say, Usually they wont show, they will hide so it goes 3 ways. They either get Violent, Get Drunk or Get High (as in drugs). We HATE it. Still we hide it. That's just guys, we don't get angry bout it. Girls are more open bout these things thought. They will talk about it, usually insulting that female till the worlds end. Its a good thing in a way, at least we know not to step on that land mine, but guys would act cool about it and girls will just keep stepping and stepping and jumping on the freaking Volcano until we burst. No fault of theirs but we still burst cause its just too much. We get jealous freaking easily, even after fake/unreachable things. Like cartoon/anime character. Anything can spark it depending on how confident your boy is of himself. You can go "hey just saw my ex he seems taller/better/.", and he will be like "So what you wanna meet him? He Looking good girl? Mighty Fine I see. Him or me Babe right here right now. Man this bullshit man Imma go kick his Donkey ass. Why the hell you show up for asshole." Etc Etc. God Bless if u go on about your past with that guy, he will stay up all night going crazy on himself.

13.),14.),18.). Yes Damn True. We may go as far as to think either 1 you are in trouble but rather look for another guy/ 2 You cheated and is now feeling guilty. (Not helping if u cheated before)

21.)24.)30.), NOT REALLY/NOT TRUE.

37,38,40) True as anything. If he is always talking to your BFF she may start liking him.(38) Yea you can just listen to his problem and as if he has found any solution. Only give when asked.(40) You starting linking he start worrying bout everything and anything.

53.) We will usually blame ourselves a lot and crazily over the top kind of way.
70.) yup guys are full of shit everytime. No joke.
89) Fuck that shit if he does ask him to fight your hand if not dont throw dirty looks at you.
91) NOTHING SHOW MORE THAN A GUY's TEARS.

Well thats all from me for now!!

99 Facts About Guys

TAKEN FROM TUMBLR!!!!

1. Guys don’t actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate other flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn’t understand you, it simply means you’re not thinking the way he is.
5. Are you doing something?” or “Have you eaten already?” are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you, he’ll disregard all your bad characteristics.
8. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.
9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl’s attention.
10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.
11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.
12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can’t. And they have one habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking! but do not generalize
13. Guys cry!!!
14. Don’t provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.
15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.
16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.
17. When you touch a guy’s heart, there’s no turning back.
18. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind!” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.
19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands
20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
21. When a guy makes a prolonged “umm” or makes any excuses when you’re asking him to do you a favor, he’s actually saying that he doesn’t like you and he can’t lay down the card for you.
22. When a girl says “no”, a guy hears it as “try again tomorrow”
23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.
24. Guys hate gays! (Bull Fucking Shit. We hate people that whine over nothing, nothing against gays)
25. Guys love their moms.
26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.
27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn’t mean that the guy likes her.
28. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.
30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.
31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.
32. Guys are very open about themselves.
33. It’s good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don’t let him wait that long.
34. No guy is bad when he is courting
35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they’re not that much pretty.
37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.
38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice…….very true.
39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.
41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.
42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.
43. Guys virtually brag about anything.
44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them. (FAKE)
45. Guys think too much.
46. Guys’ fantasies are unlimited.
47. Girls’ height doesn’t really matter to a guy but her weight does! (depends)
48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too possessive. So watch out girls!!!
49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.
50. It’s not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up especially when they’ve been together for 3 years or more.
51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with that guy.
52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be matured and grow up.
53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.
54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.
55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed P**** with their girlfriends….
56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he’s sweating. You’ll probably see that he is nervous.
57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.
58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me”……sometimes .
59. Guys don’t really have final decisions.
60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.
61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him….very important.
62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.
63. Guys believe that there’s no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.
64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.
65. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.
66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.
67. A guy would waste his time over video games and football, the way a girl would do over her romance novels and make-ups. (Depends)
68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake. ….they love u regardless.
69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!……true but only wen the guys are ready 2be settled down.
70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
71. A guy’s friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.
72. Don’t be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.
73. Don’t be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you’ll be surprised.
74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting guys.
75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about girls.
76. Guys don’t comprehend the statement “Get lost” too well.
77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.
78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.
79. Guys don’t care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.
80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them, they’ll realize they’re wrong.
81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He’s just too stubborn to deal with it.
82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.
83. Guys’ weakest point is at the knee.
84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already thinking of a way out.
85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing things.
86. When a guy looks at you, either he’s amazed by you or he’s criticizing you.
87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance, give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.
88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.
89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you’re with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.
90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.
91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!
92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.
93. When a guy says he can’t sleep if he doesn’t hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.
94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.( The Hell?)
95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.
96. Girls are allowed to touch boys’ things.
97. If a guy says you’re beautiful, that guy likes you.
98. Guys hate girls who overreact. ……sometimes
99. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.

Ah boys to Husband.

Can't explain much so just gonna let words roll. Continuing from a very long ago post. Title of the post is Day 3: human fatality. I talked of guys going out from husband back to boyfriend mode.
First off its my opinion so you are free to disagree but it should make sense to most people.Now that that's over and done with lets continue.

For me/guys like me. Dunno who you are but if u feel that way then its cool. There will be a point where the bf/gf thing stops. Yea it does. Lots of people break up when this change happens why? Cause well they don't think. Different people are different and well this happens to quite a lot of people. There will be a poin where one/both will be so comfortable with each other he/she will go into their wife/husband mode. It is auto and usually you may not notice yourself. It is when all the I love you thing don't happen often alr. Guys will start to concentrate on their work either school/working, girls may be more motherly then usual? This is where shit happens.

This process is done so that your body and mind test how well you and your other half can do if living together. Most couple might be breaking up at this point cause the female will think that the guy don't love her as much and the guy will feel that the girl is being paranoid and will be annoyed by her. This point in your R/S will be on that's on the test of trust and how deep your love is, not said but felt. The feeling when he hugs you, look at you, smile at you...
Some guys don't talk much, think too far and did too little but deep down what they want is just the best for you. Some don't fight cause they know they are not good enf.  They want a future, a possible future so they work hard and most wont talk about it. They push themselves without you know and when they fail they sink. You bring them back they'll push even harder but on the surface she will only see distance. All guys would know. Who will dare marry a odd job worker who would dare marry a guy with only his ITE cert with no stable job. Even if she don't mind we mind. There will always be a better man. If we alr lost in looks we can't lose in smarts. We live in that fear everyday. There is always a more handsome man in poly JC. The % of play boys maybe the same but they are the ones who can affort to have dinner at classy place. Time and brains to study fast and then plan all these romantic things and money to buy if they are too lazy to make themselves. We have alr lost so much. They want the best for "us" we want the best for you. So that everything is done and if we do die before you, there is nothin to worry about. You will have your girlfriends money is safe in the bank the housing debt has been paid and insurance give you enf money so you don't have to work. We are blocks of wood we suck at being romantic but all we want is to give you a good life and we strive and sadly always mistaken and we don't argue back. We know the risks we took it.

So much we want to do for you. Argument with your girlfriends? Help you all patch up so that you have a friend to talk to. Family problem? Teach you how to fix it or how to get along so if we ever split your family can support you. Like how a family should. So many thing we want for you to have and all we want is to see your smiling face at the end of the day. Happy. Satisfied. Even if we get weaker everyday we stand strong for you. We just want you happy. Nothing else matters.

Rewind

The past. My past. It was a dark place. Different people have different lives. We may go through the same things, but will we have the same endings? Bullies I've seen far too many and I've helped far too few. How can someone under attack help another? Draw the enemies' fire to yourself. My sense of justice may be off the charts. Its set too high. Cause I never ever want to see another hurt by them. But I'm a coward. I run. I can't fight them how can I? I use to be weak. Now I'm just fat. But when the weak group together we grow strong and the strong gets weaker.

I've seen too many when bullied just going with the insult and later claiming to hate the bullies. That's our generation. We hate something but we don't find help. We take it then hate it. The law/justice can't help you if you take the insult willing. I learn I train but in the end I failed again. Years went by they grew strong they broke away. Finally I stood. I push. I broke. Alone I suffered the aftermath. They can't do anything. Im the odd one. Even if you are my friends what can you do? You will be
casted out. Who would what that.

But its good enough that they don't join in. The can only sit there and stare straight. Too ashamed to look at me too guilty to laugh tgt. All they could do is help behind the screens. I was sad. But I saw the light. Not everyone is strong enf. I was not. How could I blame them. What changed? Swore not to pull my fist and I became a pussy. What gives? I'm becoming weak because I change for the better? Is that why evil loves their power? No. I'm just used to the shields. Standing up to the majority opposing them, now that is courage.

But I've lost my voice. My vocal talents are robbed. I spend days in silence. Hopping for change but ending with trouble. Now still my voice is locked and intentions unknown but I believe. I believe the one who will unlock my voice will find me somehow. I've never given up on anybody. Most are justified.
Enlightened I've seen the power of open mindness. The ability to keep an open mind. Its a great gift and I'm thankful I had it. But its a great test. Few can do it and it gets frustrating . But time will tell.

Special message to special people. Those who have stand with me all these years. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and will gladly be of service. Just drop a hint. A emo tweet will do. I'll be there.
"You be there for your friends then me leh? You've never been there for me."
Yes harsh words. May not have ever been said to me but I've said that for them. I've let down many people and while I may not show it I hate that I can't save everyone.
If you told me to go fuck myself and even if you don't mean it it hurts. But depending on situation I might help you if you are in trouble shortly after. But if are the popular kid with may friends and they alr went forward. I'll back off. I am not welcomed. Somewords said can't be taken back.

Sorry!

First of all a big SORRY for those who actually read my piece of crap blog. I stopped blogging for awhile due to the heavy timetable I have recently. All who told me ITE will be a breeze either has very very good time management or have 48 hours in one day.

So happy news. I am now helping with the teachers with F1 which means a lot to me. It is awesome to know that we are dependable in the eyes of our CA, but this also means that we have our work cut out for us and its really busy-ish. Then to make it better I have 3 presentation and an oral exam coming. Now I'm seriously pressed for time and hopefully I learn to manage my time well soon.

School is just ok la with my council of four and my F1 team should be fun. Right now I really want to study hard and get good results and assure myself that I can do something in my life right. There will be some nights in your life which u wonder why you are even born and what change will there be if you're never born. I think most affected might be Zoe but then again if she never met me she would have ended up with rayner.... scary thought. YY may have not been through those shit and I won't be disappointing everyone...
So if I wasn't born or died early so many shit I wont have put people through but hey shit happens so damn I shall live guilt ridden and disappointed with myself.

Words

The pen for ages have always been mightier then the sword. It is a old but truthful saying.

I think after so long I've seen, learn, explore and tried out the power of words. I think many people still have not seen the impact of their words and action, a simple "you looked better yesterday" or "you should go for surgery" may throw someone into a bad mood the whole day. Its a common sight now a days to see guys being jerks.... well to me anyway. I personally have high respect for many things and while it seem to be alright for girls to call each other bitch guys are starting to follow and its not right. The self respect has gone down hill and into hell for a long time people are being more open, not a bad thing but when u start telling people bout your sex life or discussion about how big ur girlfriends rack is with another guy really shows how much respect you have for her? No shit the world is fucked up.

Back to words(geting super off track) if for a long time people has been telling you that you are dumb you start to believe it and all your abilitys are shut off and you spend all your life finding yourself useless. I am lucky I've great friends now my family supporting me. Asking someone to fuck off and die really hurts a lot worst if its said by your love ones so think about what comes out of your mouth before u hurt someone really bad and he/she really dont come back.

My Baby girl's birthday!

So it was my baby girl Zoe's birthday just last week on the 14th~ and she was away on camp, she attended the 30hr famine camp. It was a camp/event first started by world vision singapore to help raise awareness about life of poor people living in less developed countries. So what we do is that we would not eat for the next 30hr to have a feel of what its like to be hungry. Sweet drinks are given so people can take part in physical games, so just imagine going through that on your birthday and the day after. Watch the really lousy and pathetic video I made for her here !

So sadly I did not attend it with her this year, at the start I'm just like Adam Khoo took over liao the camp is gonna suck(which sux this year) and didn't want to go. Next was that none of my friends are going so the mood is really not there. But the final blow was that I have no idea when ITE is gonna have their test. So happens that my test was on 14th so plan failed. Got screwed by her countless time for that haha.

All in all we've know each other for around 3 to 4 years and lasted around 2/2+ years a few breaks in between which drove many of our friends nuts. I can really say that this relationship has developed me as a person a lot and if you think she is bad now; she was worst then. We both grown so much even thought we may forget what we've learn once in awhile and have to be reminded but sometimes you just have to compromise and just talk it out. You may be able to just give in to her all the time and take whatever she throws at you but when the time comes for you to blow up all the pent up energy deals a huge amount of damage.

We have been through a lot, ups and downs and things have went really rough but hell we got through that with help and should be able to talk out most of the fights now. I am and has always been really grateful that she entered my life and stayed when I was just not a good boyfriend. She was my first and she alr have a ex so she came in knowing full well what she want and I'm just derping around like an idiot for the first month or so and she went with that but I went super sonic and grew way too fast and we broke up. I felt terrible for awhile and then it just cheered me up with she started changing to what other feedback her on and for awhile I was glad. The turning point came when I thought she got someone else and I was way mad. Yy was called by me to calm me down I was just mashing my fists knuckles all broken and bleeding internally and when YY reach he was like dude stop dude wtf and I knew suddenly she was what I want and I can't let go and we got back tgt sweeter than ever but we had down time. Every couple fight but what matters is the process of ending the fight.

So here we are now, perfect? Nope, still a long way to go but I'm confident we can help each other carry on in life and grow as a person. I know you will be reading this so here's a Super duper late Happy 16th and I will always be here for you remember what we agree on blogging and know that I love you♥. Our anniversary is coming up soon~ Lets see if we can get that wedding ring<3

Chapter 1: Part One

Darkness falls across raven street as the torrent of unforgiving rain lashed at the black tar road. A single dimly lit road lamp lights up a shadow of a man as he close the ancient pocket watch. "Time has come my fellow humans, my powers are near their limits and soon nobody will be my match." The whisper echoes like striking of metal against metal, coldness of the voice brings chills down your spine. With a slight swirling of the mist the man was gone and the single light bulb imploded. Raven street, a place of sadness and death. It was said that many years ago during the great war, a legendary battle was fought here and the villagers wanting peace defeated both army with magic and spells. Most had taken this legend as a story many believe that the villagers simply trapped and ambushed both army's food supply and when they are weak and retreating the villagers slain them all reclaiming the peace and going back to their life.

The rooster crowed loudly before dawn as the sun rose lazily over the horizon. Kira jumped up from bed as he woke from yet another nightmare. The nightmare had taken him back in time to the ancient battle that took place in raven town. He had a voice at the back of his head telling him that what he saw was the actual battle but it all seemed so surreal. Turning he fell out of his bed and onto the floor in the push-up position, after his 2 set of 10 that he does every morning the smell of bacon and eggs flooded his nostrils and right on time as he suited up for school.

Storys

So its a bit weird but I actually write songs that goes with story lines. The happys song usually comes from random shit but the sad and emo ones are actually from my nightmares. Yes I've tried writing stories but they dont really give me as much of a thrill than writing songs but! Big BUT! I have a friend in my ITE from PHSS anime powerhouse The Guy With The Jacket. Those from phss may recognise him some where. Mr Lim Chee Hau. So he is trying to start his light novel series so if you are interested here is the link ( http://www.quinkusanagi.blogspot.sg/?m=1 ). Thanks for taking a look now back on track, I may be doing A single story AND if possible do a short clip with all the songs and everything so we Shall see. He has really inspired me and well my song writing only comes with emotions and I do want to keep doing nice and meaningful music not just something forced or just plain crappy. So the story may help me organized my thoughts and inject the sad feeling. Anyway an update to my fellow youtubers my cover and original are late/MIA cause of upcoming exams and CAs but now the holidays are here they should be up soon thanks for supporting me and has always been giving me positive criticism and feedback on my songs you guys are THE best!!
Xkira signing out

Love: part 2

Right so first lets have 2 videos kays

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOj-ZVU2i7c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQUyW-3_6Qc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So now we shall start. Don't ask me why they are both not English songs I can't find any that is super touching. Poor me(Thai song) was really really awesome and u could actually feel that raw emotion and pain. So let me just ask, what do u all see in both videos that are similar? Bitch that left the guy for another because that guy wasn't spending enough time with her? I mean seriously that is happening a lot right? We hear this excuse we hear them complain all the time its "He would rather do 'this' than to talk to me" or what not. If both the video was done in the view of the female would your feelings change? From anger to guilt maybe?

I have heard and I don't really dare to say been through so I'll just say experience similar things. Sometimes the things u do for your friends or family may not be seen at all by them but when u make a mistake all the shit is on you and you get so angry. You have done so much behind their back and yet when something goes wrong u will always get hit by the bullet(puns intended). So back to the videos. Both guys left the girl to do their things BUT the things they do are for the benift for the girl.
First Thai video: so the story obviously goes as this Korean looking guy and his girlfriend he was playing statue she help him clean off body paint and she wanted a car when she saw this other guy with a freaking VAN. (Seriously girl?) Anyway the guy went to busk for money to get a darn car. The female meanwhile get all Flirty with the new guy cause he send her home... in a van... Anyway they soon develop feeling for each other and went on dates. In front of her busking boyfriend, just great. Imagine the pain guys. So finally this one day they where there it started raining his paint washed off and the girl look sooooo gulity. The guy with the van on the other hand look disgusted. Freaking GF stealing JERK.
Second Korean Video: So it starts as the assassin tried but failed to shoot the girl. He falls in love with her and God knows why so many assassin wants her dead. She got shot on the shoulder. He brings her to his buddy's house,  right beside a trash field...? Anyway he went to work. When the girl woke up it was his buddy taking care of her for around a month? He comes back tried to bring her along but failed. Durh... anyway at the end he shot himself cause he can't kill the couple and produce plane tickets to run away. I'm sure u all can put 2 and 2 tgt.

So the point is, did any of the BF GF did anything wrong? I don't think so. The guys only wanted to give what's best for their love one. The girls also did nothing wrong, they just wanted to feel secure with their boyfriends. Who would want their other half to keep going MIA. But something could have been done. Communication and trust ask when in doubt and clear any misunderstanding. It could have been a perfect ending but sadly many never do end out well and strangers with memories are born.
Continuing in next post maybe. Nights nights<3

Fallen Angels: Judgement

Hello earthlings. So much had happened so I'll spam post. Topic of this post is judgement, so what judgement am I talking about? Well I think there is always someone watching in the sky's whatever your religion is, there will be a judge. There will be days where everything seem to be planned out nicely for you and days that are just crappy and disappointing. Sometimes we all wonder why bad things happen to good people, I have a simple theory which makes sense to me. First off, destiny and fate, both to many are things that can't be changed. I beg to differ. Fate as we know it, can't be changed if u are fated to fail something you wont pass it. But your destiny however, can be drawn by you yourself. As the wiseman says When one door closes another one opens look for the open doors when u fail they may be the path to success. Back to topic, why do good people suffer more? I think its the judge's test for them. If they are able to pass it they would be able to come to terms with the reason for their birth. Think about it. All those people that succeeded, how many has a sad life story? How many had to push pass their limits to be where they are today. Beethoven lost his ability to hear in exchange for a lifetime of great music. How much have you sacrificed?
Nick Vujicic, man with no limbs. The greatest motivator ever. How badly where u beaten down? Think about it. Have you tried your best today?

Houdini

Houdini - escape artist. I for one believes that everyone of us can be a great escape artist. Addicted Gamers (This people are those ragers and people that have no self control of their gaming hours/life the usually better than average but not pros. Pro gamers help other gamers have less rage and have self control on their gaming time they grind and train but not to the extend of having 0 human interactions) anime freaks (literally freaks 0 power to diffrence real life and anime) and hardcore djs. This are literary living another life on another planet. Hardcore DJ less so but still they lose themselves to the beat. We all seek escape sometimes and its good to find a place where u are happy and can forget about life for awhile. But too much of anything will be bad and the longer u run the harder it will be for you to face set backs. You break faster and stands no chance when life tries to screw you.

I learn a lot and in the secondary school year learn that facing your fears and overcoming problems improve your ability to withstand sudden problems and speed where it is resolved. It also increase ur capacity for hurt, and bullies stand no chance against you cause no matter how hard they push u just wont fall, so soon they will just leave u alone.

There will be this friend u have where he/she could take all the shit u throw at them and help u carry all the burdens plus their own problems. Much deserved respect to them but, what happens when it breaks? They are the one who suffer the most. Imagine a balloon within a balloon within a balloon within a balloon. When it breaks the outside 1 bust first. What's left will the center soft core. The smallest of all balloons. Now they are still weak but they try to blow themself up. Surrounding friends plays an important role and if it comes out properly they will be stronger then ever. But as I said they are now soft cores. They will build high walls and push everyone away. Help them tear it down not re-enforce the walls.

Anyway side note my song is going well and should be out soon positive feed back so far and its quite an impactful song for some, I hope, and alr started and the 2nd original with 2 covers between them somehow. School is crazy and few personal problems to deal with so shall see what I can do~
Until next time!!

Super lameo Gentleman

So about those guys... where should I start. First off I rarely hate ppl. Mighty serious here cause hey when u hate and complain you actually do care at some level. Enough to feel something but not enough to do something about it.

Those who do know me on some level knows that I dislike people but makes effort to communicate. This is not Two-Faced its called being matured and trying to work around your dislikes. But there are asshats that I totally ignore for they are a waste of my time and insult to my life. So seriously just be glad I'm talking to you. Actually means I still care.

Now about them, there is this little thing I have which is too much sententiousness or
Self-righteousness. I think that its a negaposituve thing cause it could be good could be bad. But back on topic. I feel that they don't respect females enough Feminist are gonna start shooting but let me just say nobody wants to have their personal spaced invaded physically or mentally. Mr R as much as I understand your background you are not entitled to touch who and where you liked. It is a terrible and embarrassing thing for you to play with a females hair let alone smell it, what's worst you two aren't even related. I hope u have changed and stopped watching hentai like seriously. Don't even know how to lie about not watching it.

Mr H you bloody lowlife. I'm seriously offended. Why? I know you before! You jerk. We were even in YOG tgt if I'm not wrong. So why are u being such an asshole. I can see that you did/do like her and I have no problem with you challenging me and fighting for her hand but you should at least fucking tell me? We know each other and even if we don't you don't even have basic respect to tell the girls BF you like her. Grow a freaking pair man. You are making her look like she is cheating hello? You are older you should be more mature and if you seriously think u are a wonderful help bloody psychologist God help you. You biased options don't count gongkia. Next, you don't go around telling people you PCC(masterbate) when and whatever. DUDE if you don't even tell your mom this nobody else have to know. So what if you are born horny matain pls seriously you are just lucky this Gen of girls are more open and understanding of your sex jokes and sex reference. Dude u are on a social web you post this kinda stuff bouduopeh? Stupid uh? You just wait 1 day u offend someone then kena bitch slap then you know.
Three. Don't. Fucking. Say. Something. And. Go. Back. On. Your. Word. You jerkbag. I thought you guys where done. Three times u all fight 3 times I hear her SumPaGaLamPa say she will never talk to you again. Recently she said again. I ask her thrice if she is serious she say yes. I don't believe. Now you guys are talking again! Bingo spot on. You say she don't care u enough THEN FUCKING GO AND DONT COME BACK if you wanna come back DONT FUCKING COMPLAIN. I have many friends I help. How many actually see if I'm feeling sad ? 2 maybe? And its rare they pop up kays so suck it up its either you are in or not.
Four, You always say I'm the wrong choice did she tell you I stand up for you? When ever you all fight did you know I ask her to forgive you? Why am I so kind? I keep getting stab by you but I still help. Why? Cause I think you are worth helping. You do cheer her up when I fail to.

So seriously dudes R & H if you all think they are ok with you guys acting this way then please do it privately? Don't make the girls look cheap or loose can? I mean if you dad don't talk to your mom about sex over dinner why should you? Public some more. The internet judges without feelings spare a thought for other people?

Update Fallen Angel Community

Ok guys so I finally decided to try out this app blogger thingy that I have downloaded(Joy oh joy -.-). Well reason I dun like to use the app is cause I like to front my words. I like to make my blog nice looking like a dairy and I'm actually writing something so lets see how it goes.
Rants!!!
Ok so starting the rant top of my list is my elder sister. So recently she started her blog again and I was really glad cause that means I'll get involved in her life more and so I went over and read it. Had the shock of my life when she said Haikal inspired her to start it... I mean dudes I STARTED TO BLOG FIRST WHY DIDN'T I GET THE CREDIT. #SorryNotSorry but I am very baised to this person who I see as copying my work and at time gaining credit for it while I don't. Really unfair but back to her, first I can admit that I was angry. I was angry why he got mentioned, why I was left out, what did I do wrong that he did right. I wondered why all the girls seems to stand on his side only guys understand why I hate him so much and Rayner too. But still I calmed myself down and faced the facts. It is HER blog she can jolly well do what she want I cannot condemn her on her thinking. If she feels that Haikal inspired her on some level then my blog may not be the same style as theirs and thus no outcome. But I'm afarid that he will take my family away from me again. Sis you are suddenly talking to him on such good terms and I fear u will leave if you ever become close to him and buy his stories... and your problems I always said I'll be there I'll help you but you rarely tell me anything. I know I just ain't a good family member I mean I can never solve your problems but you people are always solving mine. I owe my life to a lot of people cause without you all I may have alr suicide... So sis let me help you tell me your problems I owe you far too much and I'm doing very very little... I shall tell you all why I'm baised to haikal in the next post. And Rayner too.

Family

Family

So I can say that my own family is pretty normal everyone is doing what they are suppose to me most of the time I don’t have violent complains to any of my family members or extended family. It’s just that sometimes people do get on our nerves and of late it’s my annoying little brother. I mean every family will have their own trouble just that some is worst then others and the way some handle will be different. Anyway my brother is one hack of a bitch; he will never know anything that happen in school which leads me to believe that he goes school to HongGan and GeiBaLan. Dunno what he study or what luh but still I care luh. I mean him in Pungol sec quite cui and I really have no wish to see him as a gangster because I’ll really beat the shit outta him but hope he Wake Up His Idea on what he wants in life. All in all I really feel blessed that my family is able to solve our problems quickly and efficiently without much fighting or arguing.

My Gan Family

So where do I start ha-ha guess with Kimberly  bah since she is one of my older friend and one of my epicly funny Elder sister that is almost always on drugs cause she can laugh at every and anything even if its AIR. Ha-ha. So first notice her at start of sec two as one of my Bro’s eye candy. Still remember he asking her number after school she was rushing off and him just hurry asked after being pushed by Yi and me ha-ha, so she was shouting it out while rushing out the class and he memorized it instantly. We were getting it from him later on and he just rattled it out. Remember that after a few awkward convo she made sure like 2 or 3 times that I’m not interested in her LOL scared me sia I thought I said smth weird. But time went on I realized she was OLDER by 5 days so naturally I am the didi. Zzz. Both Leo born.

Next shall be Zoe and Yue bah. Meet Zoe around end of sec 2 at Combined UG Camp. Best camp in my life for me. I was totally enjoyable and we were carefree. It was on the last day that I get to know her. On the first I alr meet her as she was passing a message to this R guy. I noticed R playing with her a lot and on the last day I got to know her so I suddenly have a FB notice which is from her and I don’t recognize at first until I saw the other pictures. First impression swear on my life is that She is Cute and very very Hyper. No shy around guys either and is friendly. During caving I remember she was trying to grab a partner and R got that job 3 of us were going tgt until I start getting adventurous and pulled forward leaving her at R’s mercy with his quick hands. Totally saw him trying to hug and protect her all the way which I LOLed at. So after we got tgt I meet Yue. Which said I was quiet. Haha guess what? She can’t wait for me to shut up now. I love to annoy her haha and she is really awesome in her own ways, we are able to understand idea and thoughts to each other with little explanation. She was a great help in my life so far and wonderfully annoying sometimes. Much has changed but I guess we still understand each other enf to stay tgt. Now that I have officially become gans with her swearing deadly oaths and drinking our mixed blood while praying to the ancestors (IM FREAKING KIDDING) we shall be each other’s shelter and pillars to the family so that when other join us the family can be stable.

Finally I guess would be YuanYi. We first meet sec 1. English tuition Mavis. Its epic how we meet fist sitting in tuition tgt had small talk then move on to going home tgt after Mavis realize that we live soooo close. So went school tgt and all that crap, drove me crazy with his GLness at first but got used to it. Have a huge fight but became closer than ever. Now that he has changed for the better and is no longer as GL. I really think he is a awesome friend to have with his I.T skills and out of the box problem solving ideas can learn something most of the time and he does have strange ideas to. Now we have gone on different paths I still hope to have him as a lasting friend and close as brothers. If you see this I hope you are enjoying life in poly and faster end your misery because once I reach there I’m going to ace everything and be famous! Anyway this Old Taurus’s birthday is coming up shortly So people please attack Him with cakes on that day kays^^ 

Total System Core Melt Down

Brain is full of errors I don't know what to think or feel now. System core is on melt down. Think I might be feverish lol but seriously I may be wrong. So anyway tomorrow is my little mei mei's birthday haha. But don't judge her by age she is actually wise beyond her age. So after rushing my work and this post I shall finish the present I wanna give to her. To be truthful I have no idea what to get until just now, it just struck me. Hope she don't die after she get my present><

If you are reading which is unlikely I have to say my present may not really be much but I hope It can give you enough energy to get pass your O lvls first then we shall see what we can do okays. Hope you can stay as strong as ever but drop the extras kay. We both know uh we both oso people with special talent de, but sometimes letting go of your burden let other ppl carry awhile while you relax can help you carry even more burden in the future. At least its better than keeping everything to yourself hope you can somehow find the strength to start a new life and let your life begin!

Expressed

So here I am again. Tonight I feel that we both have grown, More or less we understand more about each other and I’ve learn to do the things I do the right way. Strangely it always come s to this I guess I’ll work on that again.

So bottom line, I have proved again my ability to understand human mind and well Her mind. It feels good to understand her. Hope her bitch Side is not too hurt that I broke the spell. Hope after this it will be on the road to Forever. I know I may not sound it but I do feel guilty that you are not hurting like this is not every day I get to finally hear everything from you, even thought I most of the things you say about me it still hurts coming from you. Maybe it will help me on my way? Why knows but I can say that I really really want us to work and I believe that we can work.

Anyway I think I found a way to bring us all together and hopefully we can all work together to help each other. This shall be my side project to help all of my friends that I really care about and hopefully combine them together as a big group. Hope I can manage tgt with my school work.

Ciao people

Love Part 1

I find it strange that I am able to understand you one moment and the next you changed and I don’t see you anymore. To you your thoughts may be crystal clear but for us who has no worms in your brain we can’t read u 100% no matter how good I am. But here is what I observe.

When u try and put yourself in others shoe and can’t understand why they feel that way you list as it’s that person’s fault he/she is being a bitch/bastard . You; not understanding why she keeps thinking of that guy and want him back are the same as others not understanding why you want me back.

You don’t spare time to put yourself in others shoes cause u think he/she is not thinking straight and will pass after a while.

You say they push u away. You seen so many emotional tweets don’t u know that people push u away to see if you would take time and effort to stay. P.S. it does not apply to RS as RS is a joke if u push each other away to see if they come back, you might as well buy a dog and teach it to fetch.

You think too much resulting in you over thinking and stressing yourself out and things start going bad and you build the stress up. Talk to other people or whoever you trust.

If he gives bad advice, WHY EVEN BOTHER. Just ask him listen and then shut up; it is better than thinking weather the advice is right this time. People who can’t handle themselves won’t be able to handle others.

I have to admit in failing as your boyfriend. I don’t seem to be able to guide you along and worst of all I am usually the cause of all your trouble and tears which I’m very displeased about… I can imagine people nodding and going “Ya man you fucking dumbass I can do better” well seriously if u think u are that awesome go find your own and stop bugging other’s there is a line to draw between caring and “SELF PROCLAIM BOYFRIEND”. I think at this point I should really reflect on the things I’ve done right and done wrong and if you could help me along that will be awesome and we can both strive on. Love is not about the right time place people. It’s about how hard you want it to be right but even if it fails both parties have tried and they won’t feel indebt to each other and could remain as friends and continue helping each other find their love. It only ends with strangers with memories if a party did not try hard at all and feel awkward as he/she feel indebted to the other party. But still this is my take on why people end up strangers and I hope I don’t have to go down this road. 

STUPID ME IS STUPID :P

You Can Say I’m Dumb, You can call her un-understanding but what if it’s something deeper. I don’t know why we fight at all… maybe I’m just that stupid and dun understands that that’s what she wants…

If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?

If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?

This is so deep and seriously I bet we all ask that question sometimes is it time to go or should I stay. I see no point in asking that question. If u ever want it that badly you would have put in a lot of effort to understand and learn to put yourself in his/her shoe.

I don’t know if I’m that hard to understand or what… There are people that understand me well. One top of my list is YUANYI. Whoever is surprised high five! I was surprised too and it’s a good surprised. I was shock when he sends me a long message suddenly one day. He was able to clearly and correctly label why I am so in love with writing music and singing songs doing covers. It was so awesome and shocking and it worried me that something had happened to shock him like that. Ha-ha turns out something did happen but I guess he recovered.

I remember the times where I really did not feel belong to this group of people and he won’t let me go every time it’s really due to his freakishly stubbornness that I didn’t go into a nose dive. Others helped too they made me  feel the love and warmth of humanity and family warmth and those who gave me a chance to help u or listen to your problems.Thank you SO SO MUCH

To the other people in my life you are not specially mention because I believe I told you a lot of times already how important you are to me and how glad I am to have you in my live. I guess YUANYI deserves special mention and hope you guys agree. Once again IM SORRY for not mentioning you awesome people here bare with me kays.

And to you. I really really am glad that you are willing to come into my life and regrets every and anytime I knowingly and unknowingly hurt you. I sorry I can’t be every or anything like the Guys in shows or stories. I’m not that awesome. I’m just that dumb sadly and I can never be able to smoothly share my problems with you. I’m just that introvert its annoying I know and I’m really glad that you putted up with that for so long it’s amazing and every day I wish u had met someone better, no matter how hard I try I think it will be impossible for me to match up to your expectation. I have too much flaws and being under confident introvert don’t help much. I won’t be mad or anything but the only thing I can promise I can make is that I’ll try…

If you get there before I do, don’t give up on me. I’ll meet you when my choirs are through. I don’t know how long that will be. But I won’t let you down, darling wait and see.

Lost...

Mega Lost At What To Write Here Anymore Haha I Guess I lost Interest In This Super Fast.
Well not feeling against anything strongly this few days so most likely want be anything new in awhile I’ll be just posting random stuff around this space!

Let’s just put it that I am adjusting to my new school quickly and Im lucky cause my CA (Class Adviser) is very much like my Secondary Form Teacher Miss Wati. They are both very energetic and tries to bring joy to my class. They both like to talk about everything and everything except the lesson, but strangely they are able to get through to us.

This really made me miss secondary school though… Miss all the times I had with my friends even though I made new ones they can never amount to the old ones I have the feeling of seeing familiar faces around the corner and what not. People have not been hostile to me but still that feeling of not belonging still lingers a bit.

My class is fun and the jokers are surfacing so it should be a fun year but putting that aside my CA foreseen that our batch GPA have to be around 4 to successfully get into poly without appeal. With my Class being O lvl math’s failures we all can study and competition will be stiff. ITE is so different attendance is everything and you will only get all the extra lesson and attachments if the CA likes you. This is so freaking new and very very stressful…

Till next time

Terance(kira)

Hunted...

HAIZ tired of life and its joke. I mean seriously if Im that kind of person then forget it la, nothing i say will change what u think of me...
AND YOU I NEVER EVER THOUGHT U WILL HURT ME LIKE THAT.
END
P.S Working on my Korean... Coming along smoothly 

BACKKKKKK!

HELLO PEEPS

First a great big sincere SORRY to my readers(Oh Who Am I Kidding I only Have You 4/5 ppl Reading So LALA~). Anyway if you all don't already know I wasn't reporting in as I had a Big keyboard problem so now that its fixed I should be reporting in to you peeps regularly HEHE. WELL IM IN ITECC EVM if u dont know what that is well... www.google.com.sg is a great place to start. Shall Talk about that in another post. So how is everyone? If u have not heard #prayforboston and #PrayForAfghanistan is on try to keep up and no dont trust RED CROSS donation cause 

"@AnarchoAnon @redcross @occupy_boston Red Cross pocketed hundreds of millions in donations from the past three natural disasters. SCUMBAGS!"

"@AnarchoAnon @redcross @occupy_boston Don't donate to the Red Cross - We're still waiting for them in Rockaway Beach since Hurricane Sandy."

http://beforeitsnews.com/conspiracy-theories/2013/04/facebook-page-set-up-for-boston-marathon-bombings-days-before-boston-marathon-bombings-2450056.html

This is really shameful and untrust worthy for a  organisation so big people are looking to you for help. On the Afghanistan story read Here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-125820/US-bomb-kills-30-Afghan-wedding.html....

Im sure our hearts go out to all who are affected and may you all stay together and pull through this safe and sound. Lastly may those responsible gets caught...

Day 3, Human fatality....

This is gonna be a long post so if you want REGRET NOW AND TURN BACK, and remember to come back and read kays *twinkle eyes* ;)

  Many things I hate in life as a human, right at the top is *drum roll* GETTING FUCKING SICK. I mean seriously its annoying how weak we actually are, not to mention the evil AIDS and CANCER. Most Horrible Sickness Ever Forever.  *ROAR*

I personally think that humans are the weakest of all creatures cause we get sick we hurt other humans and we try to use the simplest ways to do the hardest things.(If You Like Its Called Lazy). Its amazing how easily we hurt each other and other people without even knowing it. I don't mean you can't hate someone but you leave them the fuck alone ya. Whats the point of bringing him down if you are not inferior to them. If you are degrading them for something they didn't do and shit well I think the problem lies on you cause you feel inferior, if so SEEK A DOCTOR ASSHOLE. Plus we all have ppl we dont like some of your friends are friends with your enemies, and you friends with theirs so LEARN TO STEP AROUND THE BORDERS. Important note: PLEASE HAVE A JOLLY FUCKING GOOD REASON TO HATE THAT PERSON WITH SUSTAINABLE PROOF or else you are just being a jerk.

  Now on the topic of Jerks, hummmmmm what can i say........

  And I do note and acknowledged that I have been a Jerk and Douchebag before and I swear the girls love it(ONLY IF YOU'RE NOT INSULTING THEM!!!!). But in the end I'm still a socially awkward penguin so I'm not in the very popular crowd. Anyway you guys might know this one person that will appear in your life, they are the very explanation of a jerk, they will come when you are at your weakest attacking your crush or gf/bf like a group of maggots drilling themselves into his or her life. (Note: They will only appear when you are at your weakest they are NOT I repeat NOT friendly Gentleman asking for a lil friendly competition. Any girl trying to get your BF's attention is automatically a bitch so I shall not discuss that.) You will be like OI I THOUGHT YOU OVER HER LIAO. Then they will use their I'm Just A Friend VIP card on you so you cant possibly ask your girl to stop talking to him. They will keep appearing around her and only 3 things will happen 1: BOOM YOU ARE SINGLE 2: BOOM YOU HAVE NO MORE CRUSH 3: HE HAVE TO FUCK OFF CAUSE SHE IS YOURS. I hate this kind of people, If you wanna snatch a girl tell it to the  guy so that he can stop being a husband and turn back into a boyfriend(will explain more in next post). Thats how things work and sadly most guys dont do that now. I admit tho I've been a third party before but it was WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE that she was attached swear to god I felt damn crappy about myself after I found out.... Ya keep laughing whatever. 

Anyway theres a maggot in my life and I shall get rid of it again

TILL NEXT TIME~

Day 2, My LIFE

HAHAHA, ok so I lied a lil bout posting everyday SORII BOSS! But HEY I am only but human so FORGIVE ME hehe. Anyway who wanna learn more bout mii today? I know I do haha. Strange fact of the day, I dun really know a lot about myself either so we should go on a journey together, go to my ask page @ ask.fm/TeranceSpx  to ask me other question kays^^. So more about me!
Horoscope: LEO, Zodiac: RAT,  Birthday: 19AUG96, Favorite colour: BLUE(sky or Cyan),
Favorite colourS: WHITE,BLACK, Hobbies: SINGING, WRITING SONGS, BASKETBALL(i suck tho).
Fun Fact! I like Kamen Rider, if that sounds childish to you well this is for you.

Its juz a hobbie-ish thing that i like cause I am able to get the merchandise easy and plus who dont wanna be a hero? Its kinda make-me-feel-good-about-myself thing ya I'm pathetic but I dun give a DAMN, so suck it up would ya. Might or might not post pic of my collection so stay tuned~

A New Start, A New Beginning

I think I shall start all the way at the beginning, where it all started and how it all started. Fallen Angel is who I imagine I am, for I feel like I have fallen from grace and to those who are wondering, no, I'm not 
Christian, I read far and wide and know a little bit about each major religion so I make random references. My own believe however is Buddhism and I personally enjoy Monkey King. Hopefully you will learn more about me and in turn I learn more bout you humans. I personally feel that I'm not a human for I feel diffidently about myself as a human. Till the next post وداعا , despedida, さようなら , 안녕히 가세요.