Rewind

The past. My past. It was a dark place. Different people have different lives. We may go through the same things, but will we have the same endings? Bullies I've seen far too many and I've helped far too few. How can someone under attack help another? Draw the enemies' fire to yourself. My sense of justice may be off the charts. Its set too high. Cause I never ever want to see another hurt by them. But I'm a coward. I run. I can't fight them how can I? I use to be weak. Now I'm just fat. But when the weak group together we grow strong and the strong gets weaker.

I've seen too many when bullied just going with the insult and later claiming to hate the bullies. That's our generation. We hate something but we don't find help. We take it then hate it. The law/justice can't help you if you take the insult willing. I learn I train but in the end I failed again. Years went by they grew strong they broke away. Finally I stood. I push. I broke. Alone I suffered the aftermath. They can't do anything. Im the odd one. Even if you are my friends what can you do? You will be
casted out. Who would what that.

But its good enough that they don't join in. The can only sit there and stare straight. Too ashamed to look at me too guilty to laugh tgt. All they could do is help behind the screens. I was sad. But I saw the light. Not everyone is strong enf. I was not. How could I blame them. What changed? Swore not to pull my fist and I became a pussy. What gives? I'm becoming weak because I change for the better? Is that why evil loves their power? No. I'm just used to the shields. Standing up to the majority opposing them, now that is courage.

But I've lost my voice. My vocal talents are robbed. I spend days in silence. Hopping for change but ending with trouble. Now still my voice is locked and intentions unknown but I believe. I believe the one who will unlock my voice will find me somehow. I've never given up on anybody. Most are justified.
Enlightened I've seen the power of open mindness. The ability to keep an open mind. Its a great gift and I'm thankful I had it. But its a great test. Few can do it and it gets frustrating . But time will tell.

Special message to special people. Those who have stand with me all these years. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and will gladly be of service. Just drop a hint. A emo tweet will do. I'll be there.
"You be there for your friends then me leh? You've never been there for me."
Yes harsh words. May not have ever been said to me but I've said that for them. I've let down many people and while I may not show it I hate that I can't save everyone.
If you told me to go fuck myself and even if you don't mean it it hurts. But depending on situation I might help you if you are in trouble shortly after. But if are the popular kid with may friends and they alr went forward. I'll back off. I am not welcomed. Somewords said can't be taken back.