The Internship

So caught a movie The Internship a few days ago with a bunch of people. Who I went with not that important, why I went can be ignored, but that movie... to me its amazing.
So. What the movie is on first sight: Two guys, salesman top of their field is fired due to improving technological advancement. Now they found a way to have a steady job with is to complete an internship at Google and be full time workers there.

Some spoliers may be included turn back before its too late!

What I saw. A lot of myself? In a way. We see this two friends taken away from a world they are used to and grouped together with a bunch of misfits. I band tgt with people of a lower social status more cause they don't have to impress others, they don't have to stress about their dressing and they won't forget a friend. So the main character Billy(Vince Vaughn) and Nick(Owen Wilson) are two very lost souls trapped with IT geniuses in a group of 5. Their chance of success is very little and they try to get by with their social skills as salesman. They have the social skills while the rest have the brains. The friendship/ brother bond Billy(Vince Vaughn) and Nick(Owen Wilson) have is fucking amazing. You see the both of them sticking it out tgt, covering each other's backs and diving into shit tgt. Putting absolute trust and faith to beileve that the other know what he is doing. I really respect that, you can't really see this kind of bond now a days and if you're gonna call me a fag for wanting smth like this then I feel sad for you. This is real brotherhood. This is a real friend you can rely on if you're ever in trouble. Its smth like love but you don't expect shit from each other. Even in rs you do it cause of love but this you do cause he is a bro. This was a bomb.

Next scene is one in a club. Strip club. I don't know why but they learn things here. I don't really like it but its America they are more free and it balance the geek with a bit of social life. So in a way its fine. My friends said I look damn into this scene. Yea. I was. Its was a fucking long time since I heard club music. A long long time ago I wish to forget. This scene brought back too many shit I wanna forget. Few years back me and my so called friends went and sneaked in and we had fun. Until we realised one was missing and later realised she was spiked and raped. It was one of the worst moment in life. I never got in trouble with the police and I dunno if they covered me but the tongue lashing the father gave and the heart wrenching cries the mom delivered will forever be heard in my nightmares. Yea it was a older girl and one I didn't really know but I feel guilty. I could have done smth. Get less drunk? Look after the drinks? Head count? I dunno but I felt like I could have done smth, anything to stop it but I didn't. I watch on. I wanted to run to hide somewhere never to be found but that's a long time ago. Two bombs in a movie this is surely worth watching thru the end.

The last scene that delivered a bomb. It was when Billy(Vince Vaughn) met his rival in the google internship exam/challenges. They met and his rival remind him of one crucial fact. He fuckes everything up just as it became perfect. Billy got very affect and started breaking and getting nervous. He managed to get good practice for the upcoming exam/challenge and was smooth throughout the thing. But the curse hits home. He forgot to log into the site. His attempt was void. He fucked his team's chance to win the internship. He was defeated. He went to apologize to the team while they where talking about how its his fault but they never really did blame him. He only heard the bad part and he left. He knew he dragged his team down. He was a sinking ship. But he tried. He really did. He stayed up all night just to practice for the test. He aced it. Something he tried really hard to do and foiled by a fucking button. It was devastating.
At this point I see the look on his face and remembered, I remember this look all too well. The people I've let down. Their disappointed faces. My own emotions. I try hard too but something always happens. Its only when I want to put my heart and soul into thing that they turn back and bite me. I want a second chance and they deny me. Every time. Ever felt your heart breaking? You felt something crack and snap inside you. You feel smth shatter. You open your mouth to scream but nth comes out. You feel pain but you don't feel pain. It gets weird and you suddenly stop working.
I've learn to deal with it. Some times people shout at me. "How can you be so calm when you fucked smth up so bad. How do you come smiling and happy?" What can I say. What do you want me to do? I may have ideas to fixed it but you wont let me. You want me fixing by your rules. I'm the guy that fucking broke it how the fuck do you think you can piece back everything yourself. You know why I smile. Cause this society fucking judge too much. I come in sad and apologetic you gonna say I'm looking for pity. That its not gonna work. That I'm shedding crocodile tears and I'm a fag. Believe me, I've tried being apologetic. Didn't fucking work. End up getting more shit then I would have.

You know why people die? You know why they kill themselves? Cause they know they fuck up bad. And the worst part? Some times its not even their fucking fault. They never get a chance to fix what they broke they have to live a life knowing that something was broken and they couldn't even get a chance to fix it. They die cause they hope that by doing that every thing they ever done is fixed. Everything they will fuck up wont fuck up and everybody will be happy. Sad right.

I can't play by that rule. At the last moment I see. I help them before its too late. I give them all the chance they may never get to have from others. In return I have to fuck up. My whole life I have to. And at last when God feels that I've saved enf or done enf. He will sent me somebody. Somebody that will give me that chance nobody else would.
I really hope its her...

"US"
They call me dumb
They call me stupid
They look at me weird
They think I've lost it
But who will ever know what I have felt
When in her arms the walls always held
They see the sadness and darkness that frown
But did they see the joys and me sleeping so sound