9/11/2014

Hey errrr this is awkward haha I usually don’t double post and especially not after something that was so light hearted. The previous post was still kind of funny and stuff but everything have its timing I guess. Heard this song on the radio and I really needed to post this…

I've never had a dream come true

Till the day that I found you

Even though I pretend that I've moved on

You'll always be my baby

I never found the words to say

You're the one I think about each day

And I know no matter where life takes me to

A part of me will always be with you

Kind of stupid I know. It has been a long time but still it hurts from time to time. People say it shouldn’t and stuff but you have to know nothing beats your first love and nothing will replace those memories. Sometimes I’ll still wake up dreaming that we were back together. I do try to be as fine as possible tho, not that it helps… the ending was just sudden. Too sudden. Any reason would have sufficed… any… but no. You just said something like it’s not working and that you are able to go without texting me now. Sounded like you’re bored with me already and yet before that you said you will never get bored with me.

You still remember the arguments we had and you’ll keep saying that I’ll never understand? Remember when we made up and you said I’m one of the few that understands you? I knew. All along I see warning signs and siren bells but I never wanted to acknowledge them I trust that you know what is best for you. I know I’m terribly flawed but I thought you understood. I remember that night when you said I wasn’t spending enough time with you. I though we agreed to talk about this. Before we made up, you knew why I was busy. I wanted to get a good cert to get a good job so that I can take care of you. I also said that you have to let me know if you needed anything. I tried to do better I really did but if that was not enough why couldn’t you let me know. You broke me so… It is hard finding out that you got tgt with a guy less than a week after we stopped. You could have just looked me in the eye and say that you liked somebody else, maybe I would hate you but I can’t. I know it takes two hand to clap. I fucked up no less than you.

But.

You know what really hurts?

That you guys couldn’t even last a few months. “You could be together for two year and feel nothing but in two months you can feel everything.” I saw that tweet you retweeted. I’m sorry you felt nth from us. If it makes it better I felt everything. Every memory of our kiss are still ever so sweet and every broken piece of me still hurts but I guess it is just part of growing up. Know this, I’ll always be waiting. You’ll always have a place in my heart. Always. For now I just hope you are happy and not for other reason but because you are truly happy.