Sometimes its days like that that I miss all the terrible things I do
to myself. Getting beat up just to feel pain, cutting and smoking. I actually
really only miss getting beat up and smoking. Getting beaten up just helps toughen
me physically and it just feel good to know I can take some hits. If you drink
often or drink to get over something you will know how it feels like when I’m
smoking. You don’t have to think about anything. You don’t even have to be with
someone. You just focus on drawing in the smoke from the tip into your lungs.
It is sort of comforting? I don’t know. It just grew on me. They only other way
I can totally get relaxed is either sit on the ledge somewhere really really
high or at the seaside. I am not a big fan of heights but the fear of falling
combined with the knowledge that after I fall I will never feel anything ever
again helps to settle me. I think I’m gonna go into relapse again…
Just finished making this skull. :) Took me forever to make this now but I'm still glad I didn't need to look at the instructions
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So what do YOU think?